Not long ago I learned of the downfall of yet another Christian leader. An investigation unveiled sexual sin and lifestyle choices that undermined this midwestern pastor’s leadership credibility.
With grief, we have to admit this story is not rare. It seems like every year we pull back the curtains on another admired church leader who is intrenched in a secret second life.
How has the enemy sunken his claws this deeply in so many of our shepherds? Why are they dropping like flies? I believe it is symptomatic of a fractured church system. Though the factors involved are many, let’s zero in on two today.
Pastors as Celebrities
First, we are too often creating a culture in which we worship our pastors rather than our God.
Our awe at a pastor’s teaching prowess, humor, or story-telling is often a primary factor in selecting a home church. We come to church and we consume. What a wonderful entertainer! The pastor is encouraged to be a sparkling personality, a type of celebrity.
As an interesting aside, my husband talks about how we seek out pastors who are confident, are bursting with charisma, and talk big goals. Yet, these same appealing traits are also true of narcissists! Yikes!
Besides our consuming admiration towards our pastors, we house them and their families in a fishbowl. As lay members, we watch their lives and analyze the moral correctness of their every move. When their children pass through normal developmental struggles or rebellious stages, we gossip about them and wag our fingers.
Our fishbowl approach leads many pastors to the notion that their families had better present a flawless front to the watching world. Otherwise, they invite criticism and contempt.
We also expect our pastors to be larger than life by seeing them as the father figure of the whole church. Unconsciously, many of us look to our pastor to be the wise and loving father we never had. Our admiration can border on idolatry, and put enormous pressure on these pastors not to let us down by being merely human. if we see him as a bottomless pitcher to endlessly be poured out, our very human pastor will eventually burn out. When burnout is persistent, the alluring escape of secret sin is hiding around the corner.
Community-Starved
The second factor cutting our pastors off at the knees is inadequate opportunity for healthy vulnerability. Few pastors find consistent, safe places in which to confess their own wrestlings with sin and doubt.
In a judgmental church environment, the pastor and family lose their ability to expose their wounds and raw places to their community for growth and healing.
Participation in staff meetings or church-wide gatherings does not fit the bill. Like the rest of us, pastors need small but consistent gatherings of believers with whom to bare their souls.
Yet, how rarely do pastors sit in small groups as a member rather than a leader! How uncommonly do they practice confession of sins and accountability to a body of believers who feels free to challenge and admonish them!
Intimate church community provides a cleansing of our souls and the fodder for personal transformation. Pastors are no exception to this rule. Due to their high calling of leadership within the Body of Christ, pastors may be under even more spiritual attack than the rest of us.
In addition to a small group, personal therapy presents an opportunity for pastors to understand their own subjectivities. Only then can they allow the love of the Father to drip down to their deepest crevices. Without this self awareness, many pastors operate with a sort of emotional blindfold. Their blind spots allow areas of personal pride, insecurity, and defensiveness to fester.
With self awareness, the humility that is birthed protects us from building up our own Kingdom rather than God’s. Faith-based therapy aids pastors in recognizing where their own motives have become corrupted, even in church-building “godly” activities. Therapy is a safeguard as well as fuel for a ministry that connects with a congregation’s heart, not just their mind.
1 Corinthians 10:12 warns, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.” While the enemy finds many ways to take down a pastor, enticing him into a celebrity role and then isolating him are two sinister strategies. Nonetheless, we can avoid these pitfalls as we recreate our system of church to more closely reflect the humility and relationality of Christ.
Jennifer Camareno, MFT 